Two left feet has kept me off Dancing with the Stars. There are other sports, but all of them require chasing a ball or running. Bowling only requires a few steps, swinging my arm and releasing a round object onto the lane, and waiting for the ball to come back. Perfect sport for me.

The Kingpin came out in 1996. I hoped for a sequel that I could read for. I became a professional bowler in 1997 and felt I had the qualifications for a walk-on role.  Since the sequel was never made, my dreams of being a movie star remained unfulfilled.

How to become a star

Unfulfilled until last week. I now am a role player in a bowling movie. The producer was seeking bowlers for a movie she was making. She had several scenes requiring someone to bowl while she filmed. She wanted a selection of bowlers from young to mature (older is not a nice word for a 70-year-old.) I petitioned for my grandchildren, secretly wanting to make them stars.

I found that acting is not all it is cracked up to be as I sat while the younger actors, Elizabeth, Autumn, and Bradley performed for the camera. Watching other actors act can be boring.

My turn finally came. I eagerly donned my shoes and bowling glove. I cut and applied bowler’s tape to my thumb (covering an old callus) and carried my bowling ball to the lanes.

Star is born

Then it started. The Director required I make some deliveries of the ball to allow her to evaluate camera angles. I must have made twenty such shots before she said we would start taping.

I delivered shot after shot as the camera moved forward, back, higher or lower. The director asked for some shots to pass under the camera sixty-feet away from me. This taxed my shot making skill since the camera was moved to several spots over the lane. I was continually cautioned not to damage the camera. How could I be blamed for damaging the camera when someone should move it before the ball struck it.

The director called an end to the recording session. I collected my equipment and stored it. I was not privy to the raw footage and must wait to see what is left after editing.

Raw film becomes the movie

The attached video is the result of my wife’s efforts. It was for a beginner’s video editing class. She has received good reviews online from course classmates and friends.

I hope you enjoy the video as much as we enjoyed making it. (I am the fellow at the far end of the alley delivering a bowling ball. Wouldn’t I make a great extra in a sequel to The Kingpin?) If you want an autograph, email me or comment using the form.